Why Balance is Crucial During Divorce

We often throw around terms involving the word “balance.” Having balance, finding balance, seeking balance….

But have you ever stopped to think about what balance really means?

The Oxford Languages dictionary defines balance (n.) as “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.”

Merriam-Webster defines balance (v.) as “to bring into harmony or proportion.”

Balance has many other definitions, of course, but in the divorce context, I find these two particularly powerful.

Divorce throws everything off-kilter: your emotions, your routine, your relationships,  your finances, your sense of identity. It can feel like everything is shifting and falling on you at once, and you’re doing your best just to stay upright.

In my view, balance in divorce is about developing the reflex to seek responses and solutions that give you a sense of steadiness and proportion. Whether you're negotiating a settlement, figuring out how to co-parent, or just trying not to fall apart, having a sense of balance enables you to make choices that support both your emotional well-being and long-term interests and goals.

Three key benefits of having balance in your divorce journey include:

1.        Balance helps you manage conflict better

Having balance can help keep conflict from spiraling. When you’re balanced, you’re less reactive. You’re able to take a breath, gather your thoughts, and respond with intelligence rather than unfiltered emotion. Naturally, this doesn’t mean you won’t (or shouldn’t) feel triggered or emotional. It just means you’ll consciously avoid letting those emotions goad you into hasty actions or decisions that ultimately work against your interests.

2.        Balance helps protect your well-being

Divorce is taxing on every level–mentally, emotionally, and financially. Without balance, it’s easy to get consumed by the process and lose sight of your own needs. But when you honor those needs by prioritizing rest, setting boundaries, or other forms of self-care, you can show up more fully and make more confident decisions. You’re also more likely to deal with the grief and pain of divorce in a healthy way and rebuild your life in a way that feels whole.

3.        Balance helps you stay connected to the person you are (or want to be)

In the heat of divorce, it can be easy to forget who you are and what you care about. You might find your yourself lashing out at your kids or acting in ways towards you ex that you never thought possible. Balance can bring you back to yourself. When you keep balance as a focal point, it gives you space to stop, remember who you are and what you want to achieve, then choose the action that aligns with those values and goals.

Easier said than done?

Definitely.

But it’s possible. And worth it.

Because even though divorce is difficult, staying off-balance throughout the journey can make it even harder. Having balance doesn’t make the pain or frustrations of divorce disappear, but it can help you handle these challenges with greater strength, confidence, and, ultimately, peace.

Do you want to divorce with greater balance?

As a divorce coach, I can help you stay steady throughout your divorce journey and make informed divorce or separation-related decisions from a place of clarity and calm. Contact me for a free introductory session today.